People: Good and Bad

If you’ve surfed the internet at all since Sunday then you’ve at least read the headlines regarding Miley Cyrus’ performance on the MTV awards show. I didn’t see it (I hardly watch any TV at all), but from what I’ve read it was quite shocking and left little to the imagination. Even the far left Liberal Progressives were shocked and dismayed. I know! I didn’t know that was possible!

While reading The Blaze tonight I read something that I wanted to share with you. It is an open letter from a mother to her daughter. It’s posted on her blog, and though I haven’t read any of her other posts, this one is definitely worth reading.

This mother is dead on when she says, “Miley Cyrus is not edgy or cool or sexy. She’s a desperate girl screaming for attention: Notice me. Tell me I’m pretty. See how hot I am. I know all the guys want me. All the girls want to be me.”

EXACTLY! And yet, this is the exact way that many people are living. Think about it… Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Even this blog. You share everything with the world. You post about yourself. You put yourself out there. Why? For most people it’s a validation that they matter and are important. How many Facebook friends do they have? How many times has their Tweet been shared? Do they have a lot of likes on their latest YouTube video? How many times has my blog been viewed? We all get wrapped up in it in one way or another.

I don’t want to live like that. I use this blog not as validation, but as a way to share pictures of my life with my friends and also to share information. And yes, sometimes just to be egomaniacal; that people do care about my opinion on important matters and so I need to share. Is that what I’m doing now? Maybe. Or maybe I’m trying to point out one of the ways that our society sucks.

I had a Facebook account. I hated it. I wasted so much time on there that I was literally disgusted with myself. I didn’t want to play the games that suck you in. I didn’t really care what my ‘friends’ had eaten for lunch or dinner. It didn’t matter to me what somebody thought about the latest episode of whatever reality show is the most popular right now. I had signed up for Facebook so that I could keep in touch with my friends and to keep tabs on what they were doing, etc. I enjoyed seeing the pictures of my friends’ kids. But I really hated the ‘vaguebooking’ that was going on. You’ve seen the posts… “… why does this always happen? When will it ever get better?” That kind of post is one that is done to validate your importance in other peoples’ lives. People will ask what is going on… what happened… are you okay? STOP THE INSANITY!

That’s why I deleted my account. I was tired of the drama that Facebook causes in our lives and the time being wasted for nothing. I hadn’t even opened Facebook for two months and I didn’t miss it. I had to have my password reset just so that I could delete the account. I gave some people a heads up regarding my actions so that they wouldn’t become concerned, but it’s been almost a week and I haven’t heard a thing from anybody who was a friend of mine on there. Does that bother me? Nope. Not at all. In fact, it’s rather freeing.

Last week, during my lunch, I read an article about a woman in Canada who sent a letter to a family with an autistic son telling them that they needed to either move or else euthanize their son. It seems that when this boy is outside he tends to make some noises that irritate the woman who wrote the letter. I can’t name this woman because she cowardly signed it “One pissed off mother!!!!!” Let me share a portion of this letter with you:

“He is a hindrance to everyone and will always be that way!!!!! Who the hell is going to care for him?????? No employer will hire him, no normal girl is going to marry/love him and you are not going to live forever!! Personally, they should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science. What the hell else good is he to anyone!!! You had a retarded kid, deal with it…properly!!!!! What right do you have to do this to hard working people!!!!!!!! I HATE people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, you are entitled to special treatment!!! GOD!!!!!!”

My first instinct is to wonder how anybody could be so completely cold-hearted and devoid of feelings? Can you imagine what kind of mother she must be if she is incapable of feeling empathy or sympathy for another family? Instead of thanking God for the fact that her children are not autistic, she is instead throwing all of her hate and horridness on this poor family. I literally almost broke into tears while sitting at my desk. It completely ruined the rest of my day.

I have NEVER heard a pregnant woman telling somebody that she’s hoping that her child is born with special needs. I don’t believe that anybody prays to God, asking that their children be diagnosed with autism so that they can then get special treatment.

“You had a retarded kid, deal with it…properly!!!!”

That one sentence really hit me hard. How exactly does one ‘deal with it’? And what is the proper way in which to do so?

Do you place your child in a school that is supposed to be geared towards their special needs? Do you do this even though that school is on the opposite end of the State so that you only get to see your child when they are on vacation from school during the holidays? If so, then my family dealt with my older sister properly. Of course, I’m sure that “One pissed off mother!!!!” never had to give permission, over the phone (!), for her daughter to be examined for rape because the people who are supposed to be caring for her were neglectful and let a male student wander into their daughter’s bedroom unattended. (Thankfully nothing had happened). I’m sure that “One pissed off mother!!!” never had to drive 9 hours in record time to pick up her child and bring her back those 9 hours of traveling so that her doctor could fix the very serious medical condition that the people out at the special school had created (Chrissy’s platelets were dangerously low because the doctors out there didn’t know what they were doing).

What else can you do if that doesn’t work? Well, you could bring your daughter home and put her in a school in your area that is supposed to work with her. Except that you hear reports that she was wandering out in the parking lot by herself for a little while… next to a VERY busy highway. Or you attempt to potty train her so that she can take one step towards a ‘normal’ life, except the school refuses to work with her because it’s too much of a bother for them.

I’m sorry that this woman is so selfish that she can’t understand why the autistic boy is making noise when he’s outside. Sometimes it’s the only way that they have to express themselves. You don’t tell a mother whose child has colic that perhaps she ought to properly deal with her baby so that the neighbors aren’t inconvenienced by the constant crying.

I’m kind of rambling in this post because this last topic hits so close to home. I really wish that you could have known Chrissy. She has been gone for 6 years and I still miss her so much. My life would be completely different if she was still here. I more than likely wouldn’t have married Jay because I wouldn’t have been able to move so far away. I willingly gave up a lot of what I wanted for myself so that I could stay at home and help with Chrissy. But she was worth it. I am the person that I am because of Chrissy. Missing her still hurts. What I wouldn’t give to have a few more minutes with her, sitting on my lap, kicking things off of the stand next to us so that she can get more comfortable, and drooling on me. What I wouldn’t give to have her be able to give me ‘the chin’ once more… or laugh when I do something silly to her… or try to ‘sneak’ the fact that she had something she wasn’t supposed to.

Knowing how full of love Chrissy was makes me hurt to think that somebody would completely disregard Chrissy and the impact that she had on others just because they thought she was annoying. In Church a few weeks ago we discussed the fact that God often comes in forms that we don’t expect. We were told that a Messiah would come and we expected that the Son of God would be this great person… rich… princely… stately… perfect. Jesus was not what they pictured the Son of God would look like, especially since he was known to hang out with the poor and downtrodden. Nowadays it makes sense to us, but back then it didn’t. Look at Abraham Lincoln. He could never get elected in today’s political arena. So whose to say that God isn’t coming to us in the form of these special kids?

“What the hell else good is he to anyone!!!”

I’ll tell you what good he is… he teaches others about love… about sacrifice… about pain… about overcoming the odds… about what life is really all about… he is teaching a neighborhood about hate, but also about love… he is somebody’s child…

… and he is made in the image of God.

That’s good enough for me. How about you?

 

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One Response to People: Good and Bad

  1. Jamie says:

    I don’t mean this irreverently, but the first thing that comes to mind when reading this is that I’m pretty sure you can’t “euthanize” people in Canada any more than you can in the U.S. How exactly did that crazy woman think the family was supposed to go about “properly” taking care of their son?
    From a strictly pragmatic point of view as well, she has just as much ability to move as anyone else. If you don’t want to deal with your neighbors and their life choices, move your butt far enough out that you don’t have to deal with immediate neighbors!
    As far as the rest of it goes, it is tragic that someone so ignorant and with so little compassion and respect for life is allowed to be a mother. Perhaps people like this are why we end up with Miley Cyrus situations – because are there are women (and men) being vicious and hateful instead of seeing desperation and hurt with loving eyes and speaking love where it’s needed. Pity that the media feeds into the circus instead of trying to make it better…

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