Drowning

This is me. Okay, not literally, but this is how I’ve been feeling lately. Have you ever wished that you could fight with certain family members just so that you wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore? That’s what I’ve been wishing for lately. It’s not good, I know, but it would relieve a lot of the frustration, stress and pressure that I’ve been dealing with for a while. I just want to run away. Far, far away. In my head all I can hear are the Monty Python guys yelling, “Run away! Run away!”

I’m fed up with engineers who are impatient. With bosses who can’t make a decision. With coworkers who are incompetent morons.

I’m tired of basements that leak. Of new dehumidifiers that are icing up for no good reason. Of old washers that wring my clothes into tight little ropes and ALWAYS manage to tangle up my bra straps with the rest of my clothes. Of ovens that don’t heat to temperature. Of dryers that don’t suck the cat hair off of anything.

I want to run away from people who can’t understand a simple concept no matter how many times it’s been explained to them. From weather that snows one second and rains the next. From the worry of trying to stay warm without the stupid gas company over-estimating my gas usage. From the worry of how badly our government is ruining the economy and making it hard for everybody to be able to afford the necessities.

Sometimes I think that a good cry will help, so I try it. All it does is make my nose run and give me a headache. It doesn’t solve any of the issues. Especially when you feel so alone. Or when you are thinking about issues that are a big deal to you, and somebody bothers you with what you feel is trivial. It makes me want to pull deep into my shell and shut everybody out. But that won’t solve anything, either.

I just don’t know what to do to make myself feel better. I feel like I’m treading water and barely keeping my head afloat. The only thing that I can do is to take a deep breath, perhaps cry a few tears, and muster up my best Scarlett O’Hara voice when saying, “Tomorrow is another day.”

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